A simple note.

Guys……. I think I can say fairly accurately, that we fail at expressing our emotions. Especially to have to sit down and write them out. I’m going to tell you something that could change your marriage. If you would work on expressing how you feel, to your wife, and how much she means to you and all that she does and express your appreciation for all she does what effect do you think that would have? How would you feel if she did that for you? You would have a happy wife. She needs to hear or see your words and actions of encouragement, just as much as you do. She needs to know that you are aware of all the little things she does to keep the house going. The laundry, the dishes, the meals, the cleaning. Not that men don’t help, but as a whole I would say most men don’t help very much. What I’m saying is just tell her thank you in a totally honest appreciative way.

So what I’m saying is get off your duff, stop complaining about how you are not good at writing anything, and write her a note. It can be short, just a simple note on a post it stuck to her keys or on her steering wheel in her car. Practice makes perfect. The more you write your feelings out the easier it is to do. Take me for an example. I’m a guy that writes on a blog, It didn’t start pretty, my grammar is usually off to say the least, and my spelling at times is (shocked face) a little lacking LOL. But what I write is real and its from a guys point of view and its from a guys mind, as scary as that is. It was not always this easy. It took practice. Just like writing a note to your wife for the first time, it will feel off, it will feel forced, but don’t let that stop you.

I’ll give an example from my own life. I write notes to my wife either on the bathroom mirror or on post its everyday and have since we got married. Is this easy? Not always no way. We have had some fights and there have been times we haven’t really liked each other. I’ll say some times those notes have been very forced and hard to write but I think I have only missed a few days. I never realized how important they were to her until she told me one day. I know the value of our marriage and how much I value and appreciate her and I really try to not let some hurt feelings get in the way of the bigger picture and who I fell in love with.

So start thinking, how can I as a husband show my wife my appreciation and communicate to her just how important she is. It may not be a note or writing anything, but the trick is to figure out how she needs to see it and feel it, but starting with a simple note is a good place to start.

Don’t let your fears of opening up and becoming vulnerable by expressing your emotions stop you, what we see as weakness, to your wife can be a huge strength and the beginning of greater communications and a new level of intimacy.

So pull out that piece of paper and pen and start writing. No fear here fellas, let her know how important she is to you.

How do you make your wife feel cherished

The Webster’s definition of Cherish is…

1: a :to hold dear :feel or show affection.

b :to keep or cultivate with care and affection.

2:

:to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.

As a husband are you doing things that make her feel like you value her and cherish her? Do you know the best way to find out? Ask her. Yeah I know thats so simple, but its the quickest and easiest way to see if your connecting in that area. In your mind you maybe doing all kinds of things that you feel should be showing her, yet she may feel like you don’t. Don’t take it personal, there maybe areas that she specifically needs that you don’t see or are not aware of and thats ok. The fact that you asked shows that your trying to get tuned in.

The biggest thing for most guys is just plan old effort. If your looking for ways to make her feel special your on your way to having a cherished wife. As long as you have your feelers out because you really want her to know how you feel about her is a big thing to her. Once you do that you can start to fine tune it to her specifically and start to really touch her heart.

It just takes a little effort and a desire to honestly have a wife that feels loved and valued by her husband.

Start with this simple question.

“What am I doing now that makes you feel valued and cherished by me and how can I improve in this area?”

What are you doing?

It’s a simple question and one that needs to be asked much more.

I hear so often all the complaints about someone’s spouse. How they are not doing what they think they should, how they have fallen short or failed.

We point fingers and blame but can you force change on them? Not really, they are the only one that can desire to change. So where does that leave you?

What’s helped me more than anything when I have gotten into those moments.

I have to ask myself. Am I doing all I can in this marriage? Where am I failing or not being a part of a solid connection.

Start with yourself. If you need to ask for forgiveness do it, don’t delay it.

Even better ask your spouse. “What am I doing right and what or where could I improve as a husband/ wife. “ Ask them how they specifically need to see things

Don’t be afraid to ask.

Why your Why is so important.

Think about this one for a little bit. Not only how important, but how damaging it can be not finding your why? (Listened to some Simon Sinek today and it hit me)
When you go through life not really understanding how important it is to discover your own personal why. The lack of your why becomes almost like a vacuum. It can suck the life out of you. You see people all the time. At the same job for 40 years, usually a bad attitude about their company and or leaders and disgruntled yet not brave enough to leave. (Been there myself)
So with that in mind, finding your why becomes a life support to you. Once you state your why. Hang onto it. Your purpose is not in the $’s, your purpose is in fulfillment in that field. I ask myself this. Is this a skill or ability I naturally have? Is it a God given skill?
That maybe hard to answer, but it’s possible.
When you can look at a job and know you would take it and not look at the salary, I think your heading in the right direction. Those are the places we are all supposed to be in. To use our God given talents that naturally fulfill us.
So. What is your why in your career or life?Why do you do what you do? (Not to make money) but in your heart, why do you clock in?
Is it feeding your life or is it a drain?
That’s what I love about coaching. My why is inside of each client. If they find their dreams, then I feel fulfilled. It doesn’t get any better than that.