What is your fruit?

One of the best questions, I think, we can ask ourselves is this. What are the words and subjects that are coming out of our mouths more often than anything else? I don’t care if your a business owner, employee, family or friend.

“The good person out of good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45 ESV

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalms 19:14

“Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” James 3: 5-6 NIV

So do you think God knew just how dangerous our mouths can be? He gives us examples of the dangers of the fruit of our hearts. The dangers that our mouths and words can have. These are strong warnings to us and should be taken seriously.

So the question is. What is your fruit? Looking inward at ourselves we can sometimes see some bad fruit, times our words hurt someone very badly or a harsh word said in anger at a spouse. Those things happen I’m talking about the consistent talk or bad things, evil things, or even bad attitudes from a hard season your in. It happens, The difference in a Godly person and person playing the role is the heart. As a Godly man, I want to never say things that are not baring good fruit. I want to add to peoples lives not take from them. The fact is, I’m not always that good person and neither is anyone. We all struggle in life and in work. There are people in our lives that will test us. They will push and pull and hurt and destroy to get you to drop down to their level.

I remember reading a quote. “Never argue with a fool, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” -Mark Twain-

Boy is that true. Its easy to get baited and to jump in the mud with someone and verbally duke it out. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when you need to take a stand on truth and not back down. Thats different than getting into a verbal battle only a fool gets into.

What I am getting at though is the importance that God puts on the power of our words and actions and how we are to use them or them us.

So what is your fruit? How do you speak to people, how do you treat people? Always being aware of the fruit that your producing in life is a very important thing because bad fruit can sneak in on you and be there with out you really noticing. Be aware of your moods and what causes those bad things to come out of your mouth. My dad always told me that words are important. You can say whatever you want in life, but you can never truly take anything back, once it leaves your mouth its gone never to be gotten back, it can only be forgiven and thats a hard one sometimes.

What’s your fruit in life right now?

Learning to Let go.

Many things in life we refuse to let go of. Our dependency on money, approval from others, anger and bitterness are all just a few of the things we hang on to or carry with us into new seasons of life.I think this happens more than any of us like to admit. Sometimes we are not even aware of it. It seeps into our relationships with our spouse and friends and can start to set bitter roots that really have nothing to do with the current relationship.The only thing I have found that can free us from the hold our past has on us is a deep, close personal relationship with Christ.

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”‭‭ Romans‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭

I believe most don’t understand the weight of this verse and the power it carries. God loved us even when we didn’t love Him. He allowed His son to die for us. Would you sacrifice your child’s life for anything? Look at Abraham. He was going to plunge a knife into his sons chest because God asked him too. I don’t think I could do that to be honest. That verse alone should be the very backing of all other verses about God’s promises to you. He is you fortress, He is your rock, your anchor, He will not leave or forsake you. All of these are based on His love for you no matter who or what you did or have done. Let your mind dwell on that one for a bit. So the question remains, what are you holding onto that is damaging your life right now that needs to go? Anger? Bitterness? Contempt? Comparison? Resentment? Everyone has a few, so don’t feel bad if you find a few things. The real question is if you were to ask God which ones of these do I need to be holding? He would more than likely tell you o let them go and reach for his hand. I would never say I speak for God like some of the current books seem to do. But I do like to think about what God would think about things and might say or react to our silliness in how we deal with life at times. Sad truth is, He is just wanting us to trust Him in all things, not just the easy ones. thats like thinking love is about loving someone when its great. The truth is that true love is loving someone when they are at their worst. Looking through the ugly reactions, the ugly remarks. Those words that hit hard and hurt bad and are uncalled for. But you choose to love the person God sees in them. The heart of the person not just reacting to them in a weak moment of anger. Yes, more letting go of the need to be right, the need to defend, the need for perfection or even the need for someone to do things like you would and expecting them to be just like you. Are you starting to see the desperate need we have to let go and let God. Trust in who He says He is and the promises He has for us, even if we can’t seem to grasp the path getting there. We have to trust He can see out ahead of us when the bad times hit, He knows the blessings hidden in our misery and struggle. His ways are higher than our ways. Its all about trusting Him enough for us to let go of all that has become a weight holding us down. Satan will use those to eat away at your faith and make you feel discouraged and hopeless. Those are not the tools of God. No guilt or shame in His ways. By Him alone we are to stand up again with the strength only He can give us. He tells us in His word so often that we should never doubt but we do. Learning that anything that is hindering your relationships and life today needs to go. Anything that has you doubting God will do what he says He will? That is all from the devil. That is all junk and made to pull you in and eat you up. Its a giant trap that we continue to justify over and over. Its time that ends, its time we start to actually live out the faith we read and talk about, its time to put some action to your faith. In my mind I can image God standing behind us waiting on us to make a move. Thinking Ill take care of you either way you go, I’ll get you were I need you, just move and do something to show that you trust me. Thats s the stuff that goes through my head sometimes. He has got to be very frustrated with out waffling and over thinking ourselves into so many places we are not supposed to be. So start today to look inward and see what is holding you back in life? What things do you need to let go of?

The ugly monster of bitterness

Bitterness is a poison that kills from the inside. It kills your joy it kills your relationships, it is like a cancer that slowly taints your whole life.

Learning to let go of an injustice in your life is not easy nor does it come natural, but It is the best thing for you in your life. To be able to breath again and not carry the weight of hate on your shoulders.

Think about how much energy it takes to stay that angry at someone for decades. You have to mentally go over the things that hurt you over and over and over again. Its just not worth it to go around hating people. Will people keep hurting you in life….. yup some people just don’t care, but that shouldn’t influence your life or attitude about it because there are many that do care. Learning to let go of bitterness and the feeling of being justified in that bitterness is vital to a true joy filled life.

If you are wise and understand God’s ways. Prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. (James 3:13-16 NLT)


“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Humility is a must for an authentic man. We as men, can easily slip into pride and ego. These are some of the biggest trappings of any man.

The older I get the more I realize my need for God in my life. Not just a small, yeah he is out there type thing, but a daily giving of myself to Him. The reason why is because its so easy for a man to get caught up in his own accomplishments and praise. It goes to our head and it will start to inflate like a balloon. By giving God the glory I am letting the air out of myself, basically. Always point the reason to God and raise him up not ourselves.

The other thing Humility gives us as a man is that it keeps us on the ground with all of those around us. Everyone knows someone that speaks to others from a lofty position. They speak down to you with an authority they have no right to use. Even if they have more knowledge than you in the subject matter it still doesn’t give anyone the right to speak down to others. When that happens their message is lost anyway. No one likes to speak to or take advice from someone that doesn’t have humbled spirit. It also lets you be more empathic to others needs and situations. It keeps your heart from hardening to this world around us and guys. This world needs us to be the best we can be.

We can not be humble to our families, wives or people around us if we are not willing to be humbled before God. That is where the real change starts. That’s why I loved the quote above so much. It is a simple mental picture of the effects of a humbled spirit. It doesn’t guarantee, as a man, we will do it all perfectly. It means we will be able to lead with the right heart. It means the Holy Spirit inside of us has more power, more say and more influence in our daily life than if we let pride lead us.

How can you as a man maintain a spirit of humility? Its fairly simple… read your bible. Its all right there. Let Gods word course through your veins and infuse every ounce of your body an mind. Think of all the things that can be stopped if we not only read it but put it to into practice. Just a few key verse. Philippians 4:8 is one that comes to mind for me. When my mind starts to free wheel on fears and all the unknowns in my life. It can get scary and I can create problems I don’t really have. I stop and compare my thoughts to that verse. And It has yet to not bring me back to reality and Its all because of God’s word that keeps the world at bay.

The other thing is does is keeps your fruit fresh and good and useful. If you want to analyze yourself. What is the thing you talk about the most? What is the thing that passes your lips the most. How are you talking to your spouse? How are you talking to your kids? One thing I have learned is that most times when bad fruit is spewing out of our mouth or we have let anger take the wheel, it has nothing to do with who is in front of you or what the subject is. Its usually deeper, a past hurt or pain or mistreatment and it doesn’t even have to do anything with the person we are yelling at. When we stop and look at our fruit in our life and not a biased view or just the good, but an honest look at the bad, and yes we all have some, don’t try to hide it from yourself, God can see it. He knows your bad fruit and He wants it gone too. Be honest with yourself, or ask a close friend or your spouse to help you see past any blind spots. That being said be ready for what they may say. You can’t get mad or defensive in that situation. You may feel justified in your fruit but its still coming from bad motivation.

Humility. We need it gentlemen. We have to keep our minds focused on it because its so easy to let it slip away and let pride raise to the top. Be vigilant in your prayers and never stop reaching for the man God wants you to become.

Life is not easy.

We know its true. We know its a fact. We know that God never tells us it will be easy, as a matter of fact, He says that the moment we give our heart to Jesus that we will come under attack. So we supposedly know all of this yet scream WHY WHY WHY when life does get hard.

You have lived a good clean life, you have followed the laws dictated by God, you have done your best to not sin. Yet Life has hit you with a super punch and your left wondering why. Don’t get me wrong, I am not coming down on you or criticizing you. I’m right there with you. I have not lived the pure life. I have had a life full of sin, just like I do now. Wait your thinking what?? Your saved how can that be. The difference is not that I a don’t sin. The difference is in my heart. My sins now come under God’s divine eye in my heart. Before I didn’t know what I was doing was sin. It never bothered me it never affected me. Now when they happen they weigh on me. The fact that I did something or thought something that is not God honoring hurts my heart and thats a good thing. Its called conviction.

You might be asking, what does this have to do with the image above and the word determination. Well I’m going to be honest. We can be passive in our faith and say all the kind peaceful Christian phrases and still be stuck in life. We can be on a faith based treadmill running over the same ground not growing and not advancing in our faith. Determination is a vital part of a mans faith. It has to be and here is why. I know that 100% of the time we do not feel very faithful all the time. Times you do not feel like God gives 2 cents about you. Why do I say that? Because life and the opposition we face is so large in front of us, that our focus moves from God to a looming fear. Everyone has a Goliath, everyone has a giant in their lives. We tend to look outward for him so we can easily identify our opponent. As a man you can tell me who I have to beat and I can look it over and plan an attack to take it down. The fact is most of our giants lie inside of our own person. You see, most of the sins in our lives are not the problem, porn, greed, laziness, ego, pride and more, are not the problem. They are just a symptom of the problem. There is another cause deeper inside. Your giant is you. In the Mens class I have been going through, they talk about digging into yourself to unravel the root cause. You have to be determined to get to the bottom of it. To unleash the Godly man inside, you must be determined to root out the ugly parts you do not like to admit that you have.

For a man to love God, love his wife and family unconditionally, a man must be determined to do it God’s way, as He instructs us in His word. Be determined to read His word even when you don’t feel like it. Be determined to love your wife even if she isn’t engaged in the marriage or during that season of diffuculty, could be kids or work has filled her schedule up. Be determined to shine Gods light in your life each day. Be determined to overcome all the things thrown in your way to act with integrity and good character. Follow the psalms and not be envious of the wicked that seem to prosper. Be determined to trust God in all circumstances. Be determined to live out your faith even when your mind is having trouble believing it. Believing God, when all the things in our face is saying the opposite, is the very definition of determination. When your standing up to one of your biggest fears I have an image in my head. One of a father and small child standing at his side facing his fear. The father is holding his hand and telling him its ok he will be with him the whole time. The child maybe shaking in fear but he knows is dad is there and he moves forward because of that, not because he knows he can do it himself. A determination to believe. Thats what its all about. Determination to live your life according to Him and not the obstacles I am currently seeing.

Probably one of the hardest parts of truly living out our faith is putting the verses we know like Proverbs 3:5,6 into practice.

Really doing what we need to do in life that speak truth and God are what’s important. God never asks us to just lay down and give up. Our faith is not a passive thing but should be an active thing in our life and the hard times are those testing seasons.

People think that determination is taking charge of our own plan and rushing head long without God, thats wrong. Our faith demands a sense of determination but not for ourselves. We can fight for and be determined to live for God, the fact is its hard, its really hard at times and to really live a faith thats based on a true relationship with Jesus you have got to be determined to do it. Just as determined as it took for me to run the Tough Mudder (which is a 12.5 mile obstacle run) in the image. Or crawl under water and pull myself along that chain linked fence with just an inch or 2 to breath between the water and the fence. Different motivation but still determination. He always will call us to places we are not comfortable an we must show a level or trust in Him and not our own ability. Its the learning to trust part that seems the most difficult for most of us.

The call to nobility; Manhood at its finest

Men! Oh where have you gone? We have been washed aside in a sea of feminism. If we stand up we are told being a man is a bad thing, violent and overbearing. Yet this country is missing its men that can stand on character and integrity.

So that being said. What is it that really makes a man noble and of good character?

We can paint a pretty face on it and call it what you like, but until a man knows Jesus and has a serious personal relationship with Him, he will always be searching in the wrong places to figure out how. Its like putting together one of those monstrosity of a desk from Ikea with no instructions. You can probably get it done but its quality will suffer greatly.

So where do you start? What should you be doing or how do you build on your own manhood to raise to a higher calling?

First, I think, you have to humble yourself to God and pray. We can try to be all and do all that it takes but until we have that humbled spirit. We will usually give into other temptations like pride, ego or greed (just a few). So where is a man to start?

Lets talk about integrity. By definition integrity means; the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. The thing I always think about when I hear the word integrity, is this. Its the quality of character when no one is watching. When you have nothing to gain from doing good or holding to your moral character. How many times have you had this tested? You see a piece of trash and in your mind you think, I could pick that up, but you might walk on past because it would have been a bother. Or did you stop and pick it up to put in the trash.

A personal story for me was my older brother Steve. On a float trip when he was just 16 and I was 12. He finds a wallet caught on some weeds. He floats over and picks it up and it has $800 in it. Sadly he had so many people tell him later. “ Wow I would have grabbed that money and let the rest of the wallet fall in the water.” But he saved it and had my grandparents contact the police to find the man. His money and wallet was returned and he gave my brother $50 reward I think it was. That is quality of character when no one is watching.

That is the kind of nobility we need in men today. We have all failed at it one time or another, but when your looking to be a role model for your kids it makes you see things a little differently. So the question is what do you want our young men today to take with them into manhood? Do you have a thought about your nobility of character? How honest are you with yourself not just in front of others?

Better is the poor who walks in his integrity, than he who is crooked through he be rich. Proverbs 28:6

As men we are never perfect and we have all failed some time or another. Don’t let that stop you . Use it as a lesson for your kids. Use those personal failings to guide and lead them from a voice of experience. Don’t let the devil plant the seed that if you have failed at this in the past, that you can’t make a change and be a new man. First ask God for guidance and then do the hard part, forgive yourself. Make sure you are sowing good seeds because of this change. Use life’s lessons God puts in front o us each day to stop and teach your young men. Don’t let those God given opportunities pass you by.

This is the place you start. Being honest with yourself, the good and the bad. Just don’t be afraid to start, this is too important in the raising of our young men. I know, I know your thinking, wow this is hard and I have missed so many things and given so many bad examples with my life…. Balderdash…. thats the devil talking. Make the changes you need to make, be brave and pray for guidance about how to go about it. or ask someone you look up too, there is no excuse to just dismiss it and go on. Someone will raise your young man and you don’t want it to be todays society. Don’t be afraid to talk to them, give them your years of wisdom and experience. Don’t be afraid of them. They need you big time.

I’ll write someone else on the next part when it comes to me.

As Christ loved the church.

We are going to tackle a tough subject today.

Husbands submission to his wife. Yes, you read that right.

This is what scripture says.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:22-30‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I am not going to go over wives submission to her husbands, thats a whole other book. As a man I don’t feel I could add much to that because I am not in charge of my wife’s attitude. I can only be responsible for my own part. So thats where I will work in this article.

How does a man love his wife as christ loved the church? What does this actually look like in real everyday life?

How can we as men put things into a daily practice that shows your love for your wife? Ok wait, let me back up a bit. First off you need to know your wife. What is important to her, what or how does she see love? There are many books out that can help you do things like this. I’ll tell you know, not many men will read them. I have never understood this mentality in men, but hardly any will even look at these kind of books. I think I know why. They terrify them. Because to become truly loving in ways that your wife needs requires us to become very vulnerable with her. We as men hate… HATE to be vulnerable. We have been taught its weakness and leaves us open for hurt and abuse. We, as men, can overcome it. Proper submission to God and the things he teaches us in the Bible. That is where our relief and safety comes from, not our wives. The facts are we are not responsible for her happiness, we are not responsible for all of her needs. That is an impossible task. I am not trying to be rude to woman, I am saying that God is the only one that can be responsible for anyone’s needs. When we start putting all of your emotions and fulfillment in another person that person is 100% guaranteed to fail you. Its not cruel, its just a fact. Thats why in marriage forgiveness is one of the biggest things.

So I am going to challenge you men out there. What are you doing today to reflect Christ in your marriage?

Stop for a little bit and think about it, what act of service, what small gift, what word of affirmation, what kind of encouragement can you give today that will make a difference? Its easy to coast through our day and not think of ways we can be a blessing to your spouse. By asking yourself this question everyday you can drastically change your marriage. Guys, we have been called to lead, serve and to protect. Each one of those will look different to you and to your wife, but the weight is still there on our shoulders. Take the time to grow in each one. These are God given instructions for us as men. Part of them is giving of ourselves to our wives. Hold her hand, write her a note and put it on her steering wheel. Fold the clothes, clean something….. get out of your comfort zone and change your focus from self to her. For others its learning to lead, because to some it just doesn’t come naturally and thats ok, the best place for us as men to learn leadership and practice it is inside of our family. We as men all have different strengths and weaknesses. As men we need to learn to embrace our weaknesses. We are good and solid in our strengths usually so expand yourself as a Godly man and work on those weak places.

So, what can you do today to take your first step to a Godly marriage?

Don’t let the little things spoil, the good.

Many don’t understand this verse very well. It can’t be seen as its worded. Song of Solomon is full of description and symbolism.

The little foxes are the things that annoy us about our spouses. The slurp of a drink, chewing loudly, always putting socks on the floor, hair in the sink… you name it. There is an endless list of these things. We all have pet peeves and annoyances that can become big things if we are not careful. This is not how God called us to love and care for our spouses. Ask yourself just how important is this? Will it matter in 30 minutes? Will it make a difference one way or the other? I read an article about a wife that had lost her husband, she regretted each time she had nagged him about those stupid little things. She now looked back and wished she could see the socks on the floor or the pair of jeans that didn’t quit make it to the hamper. She longed to see the things that once annoyed her because now the man she loved and also annoyed her was gone. She now saw those little annoyances as things that she actually wanted again. She saw how stupidly simple and pointless they were. She encouraged others to let them go and not to focus on them because the day those were gone for good, you would regret it for the rest of your life.

The point that Solomon is making in this verse is that there will always be little foxes that spoil the vineyards. They don’t just go away. He says to catch them and do what? Stop them, keep them from further destruction.

So my question to you is this… How are you allowing the little foxes in your relationship? Are they becoming something bigger? Are they becoming at thing your holding onto.

“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭21:9

The book of Proverbs even says how bad it can get if left to fester. Don’t get me wrong everyone should work to do better and curb bad habits. To have a heart for change, but the fact is there will always be something that annoys you about them.

We are just people that are different sexes and people, with different backgrounds and histories.

Again, where are you personally on this. Don’t point to your spouse and say you should be doing this or that. Go stand in front of a mirror and pray for God to give you some real change in your heart for your spouse. Stop focusing on the little foxes and look for the person they are in God’s eyes. The one you married and the one you love. Love is bigger than any sin, its bigger than any fight, its bigger than any fear or insecurity.

How are you in this area? You, the one reading this, stop looking at your wife or husband. I’m asking you, How are you doing here? Are you holding onto these little things and causing someone to feel better to sit on the corner of a house top and be happier there than inside at your side? If so you need to be rethinking your motives.

Evaluate your own actions and reactions and stop looking around at others. You can never really change someone else, Only they can do that with God’s help. So only you can change yourself also with God’s help and grace. Thats what we need more of in marriage these days, grace. Pray that God lets you take His grace with you to your spouse in all things.

Be who you needed

This is something that will really make you think.

When you were growing up what type of person do you wish had taken the time to speak some truth into your life?

Some of you may have had it, a dad/mom or relative or friend. Think back to a time in your life when having someone that was ahead of you in life that may have gone through the very thing you experiencing now. Imagine how that would have affected your life? Pretty interesting way to look at it huh.

Now imagine that you are brave enough to be that very person. To be that voice of truth or wisdom in some ones life? Far to often people keep their life lessons inside of themselves because they feel they don’t have the authority to speak that way to someone. Here is the deal. Don’t speak from on high to people, speak from at their side. Don’t talk at them, sit next to them and share your truth in a loving compassionate way.

Being that person you needed in your own life really opened my eyes to all the ways I have not been sharing my life with others, yes even my own son. I don’t know if it’s because we think people don’t care or wont get much from it? I am not really sure but what do you have to lose if you try? This especially speaks to me because my family has grown with many teen boys. It made me think of the voice I wish I had when I was their age. The things I could be sharing with them to help them grow into good men. Men always talk about wanting to leave a legacy… well guys…. here is your chance. There are countless young men out there that have no dad, or even your own kid that you have been afraid to speak to them this way. Don’t let that stop you. You have great potential that God gave you, so many life lessons that are meant to be shared and passed on. These young men need this kind of guidance more than ever.

So, I will leave you with the question. Are you ready to be the person that you needed when you were young?


The authentic man class I have been going to has really opened my eyes to a lot that has been missing. But I still get perplexed at times as to just what it looks like in real life. That is always the true challenge we face. As a man or even in our faith. We hear great sermons, we read great books but just what does it look like in my life? It can be frustrating especially when you think your doing something right and then you have either missed the mark in another or what your doing isn’t perceived like you thought. For a man trying to find his way it can be very confusing especially if he has not had some instruction in just what manhood looks like and what is expected.

Thats were we as todays men need to not only step up and find the balance of all the things we as men need to be doing, but be teaching it as we go. By balance I’m talking about the different parts of being a man, protector, provider, lover and friend.

Far to often we fall back on the ones that we are good at ie provider usually or the friend. We have all see the guy thats the workaholic, he has latched onto the provider and is not letting go because well….. he has that one down, he is good at it and he is staking his identity as a man on his job or career. The friend could be the guy that has embraced his friends and hobbies more than his wife and family. Balancing these things in the proper way is the difficult part for a man. One can even go over on lover by placing his wife too far up and is now above God and that he focuses on pleasing her more than anything else. Balance, is the key that we need to find and that is whats been hard. We as men want to do well. We want to succeed and its hard for us to hear the times that we dropped the ball. The truth is, we need to have some grace in those areas that we are working on. The ones we are new too or struggle with. Guys…. Don’t be afraid to reach for the areas of your life your not good at. Remember when you couldn’t skate on a skateboard or throw a baseball? You practiced and threw many in the dirt or fell off your board or bike. But you kept going until you got it. Learning to lead and to be a real man can be the same way. Don’t stop reaching for the balance of manly hood that we need more than anything.