Perfection not needed.

One of the biggest myths is that you have to have your life figured out before you can speak into others lives.

I have a few facts for you. No one ever has life figured out, no one ever has their faith all figured out. I watched an interview with Charles Stanley by his son Andy on His 85th birthday. He said his dad called him and said “I sure would like to find someone that is ahead of me so I could ask them some questions.” He chuckled and said “dad, I don’t think your going to find them.” It just proves the point that we never have this life figured out.

I know many men that feel like this. “How can I teach my son about manhood and leadership when I haven’t learned it myself?” Well if your willing and are honest with yourself and with them. You can be the example of redemption that he needs to see. Far to often we think we can’t show any insecurity or weakness to our kids, but I think we are giving them a huge disservice with this attitude. If we only show them the perfect example then they will take that with them and when they fall short (and they will) they think its too much and can give up. But if you show them you are not perfect and don’t always have stuff figured out but you don’t let that stop you, then your showing them a real vision of a Godly man that keeps going even in the face of a failure. Perfection is a myth, perfection is damaging to so many things in our lives. Don’t let it be the thing that molds your kids.

So how do you begin this journey if your kids 16, 17, 20? Simple…. start. Just start with honesty and how you wished you had been there in this way for them. But we have to start no matter how difficult it may seem. Its almost like our faith with Jesus. Does He call us to be perfect before we are saved? Does He call for us to wait and get our life in order before we come to Him? No way. We come dirty, messed up unorganized and sinful. Well, we can take that same example into our teaching of our young men. They need to see us leading, trying and growing. It paints a true picture for them to emulate. Coming to them with humility, honesty and a heart for redemption shows them such a true picture of a man.

Men, I am right there with you. It can be scary to take this role if you have never had the example in your life. We can be very unsure of ourselves. Ladies help your husbands here, he needs your encouragement, he needs to know your not poking at his weak spots and pointing them out. He needs to know you believe in him and even if he makes a mistake that its ok and you still have respect for him. You play a much bigger role in this than you think. You have no idea the level of confidence you can feed into your husband by the simple act of believing in him when he may not believe in himself. He needs your respect and your love. See him for the man God created him to be and allow God to work through you to help him get there.


One thing that keeps men from stepping out as leaders is fear. Many have tried a time or two and when not done perfectly they are criticized and picked apart. So they eventually say. ” Oh well it’s not worth it anymore.”

The very word courage has to have fear attached to it other wise it wouldn’t be a big deal to do something courageous.

Let me ask you a quick and simple question.

What is the most courageous thing you have done in your life?

In our minds you instantly think of the fireman running into a burning building or rescuing a person trapped in a car wreck or something of that nature. Don’t get me wrong those are very brace things and they took a lot of courage to do, but there are others that took just as much bravery.

Step out and start a business?

Talk to your spouse about a very sensitive subject. Or talk to your kids about boy girl relations. Stand up for something right at work that wasn’t popular but was morally right? Truly forgive someone or humbly give a true full hearted apology. All of these are very brave things.

One of the bravest things as a man is to stand up as a leader in your family. One that your kids respect and look up too. It’s a place that literally makes you an easy target for anything that might go wrong and makes you the focus when things go south. But you know what? Thats exactly what God has called us as men to do.

Yup you lead and you take responsibility for the good and the bad. You take the hit for your wife and your family. You don’t pass blame on. You accept it and learn and go on leading.

As I type these words I think to myself. Wow I sure can type a great story but in my heart I know I have not always stepped up and taken that mantle. I’m working on it and by reading and typing out my thoughts I see many places I need to improve. For my kids, my step kids and my wife. But just because I maybe behind in this game, doesn’t mean I am out of the fight. No way, Gods told me to get off the bench and play. I don’t expect to do it perfectly I really expect to fail a few times. And you know what…. that’s ok.

I challenge you to look at your life and see where you might step up in an area of leadership that might terrify you.

As a man I challenge you also to type in the comments what your bravest or most courageous thing you have done in your life .If we get this going I may post mine. 😊

Reaching for manhood

This is one thing I think we as a society have gotten wrong.

We raise kids that end up hanging onto their childhood and not wanting to let it go to embrace responsibility and move on into manhood.

So how do we go about changing this current attitude? We as the adults take a stand to define what manhood looks like and encourage our young boys that manhood is something to look forward too. We talk of things men do, how they treat others especially their wives and those less fortunate. We teach them to be honorable, trustworthy and a person worthy of respect, not because it’s demanded but because it’s earned because of his quality of character.

Teaching our young men what makes a man is something vital, but our society has left our young men confused and lost when it comes to growing into a man. In the book “Raising a modern-day knight” by Robert Lewis, he talks about the things that make a man. This is from the book. “A man is someone who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward.” Wow talk about clearly defining it.

We as fathers need to encourage our sons to act and emulate those values, but first, we as men ourselves need to be those things. Remember it’s never too late to start. You are never out of the game as a dad.

It is no small task, but one we have to do, because our young men and their future wives and family are depending on it.

I myself have seen the need to step it up. Passivity had crept in and it was a hard thing to have to admit. So many things can be a barrier to a man in this area, fear of so many things. What will my son think, will he think it’s just stupid? No one talks like this anymore and peer pressure can put a weight on you also.

Don’t let it stop you. God has commanded us a man to lead and to teach our young men how to grow into honorable, respectable, honest and godly men.

Start where ever you are talk it over with them and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Do this trusting God. Be expecting a great reward for your work because it is an honorable thing you will be doing. One that pays off for generations.

We teach our boys to reach for the things of good godly manhood and you will raise young men that stand out and can leave a legacy.