Men, we have got to do better. There are a lot of beautiful, caring, loving women out there hurting and why? Because we as men have either gotten lazy, in a rut or let pride or selfishness creep in. Guys we have got to step up into the men we are supposed to be.
I have talked to and heard stories from many woman about what they want in a spouse, the things they look for and the places they need a man to step up.
I will start this off with, these are things I have heard many times, I by no means know how a woman’s brain works and might even melt mine down trying to understand fully. But these are a few of the things I hear.
1: They want to be heard, not fixed.
Guys we have a tendency to fix things we are all about solutions and solving a problem so ladies when your talking to your man. Understand that, that is his default setting. If you really just need his ear, just tell him up front… ” i just need you to listen to me not fix this.” Or something simple. What that does is lets us change our mind set from fix it to empathy.
2: Perspective. This means that women want us to understand things from their point of view. It can be hard to do at times but if you listen to her as she tells you about her fears, worries and concerns in life you will see the need to climb into her point of view. It will seriously help you to understand the motive behind some of her fears and actions in life.
3: Lead! Most woman really do what a man that she will feel safe with that can lead in a honorable, respectful way. How can we do this? Make her feel included. Just because your the man doesnt mean you just run over everyone in the family because you say your the leader. NO!! You include her, you use wisdom, you learn how to have good discernment. Here is an example… say a subject comes up. You have no background and no knowledge in this area. But your wife does. You should nto be ruling over her. Now is the time to ask her wisdom and knowledge base to be able to make the best decision. The choices falls on your shoulders and if it ends up being wrong…. well its yours to own as the man and leader. It may not sound fair but it is whats right.
These are just a few of the things I have heard over the years that women would love to see in a man she wants to be with. I’m sure there is an endless list but these keep coming up. The biggest thing I see personally is that you just have to make the choice to love her. She wont always be nice or sweet or loving, and neither will you. Love her anyway. Always strive to reach for connection instead of disconnection.