One thing I hear through out my day. Men complaining about the women in their lives. To me this is a sad thing. I don’t know every situation and don’t ever claim too but I do know this. Guys if you don’t start waking up and start reaching with a new desire for her, neither of you will be happy. I hear guys mad at the women in their lives because she is asking for something from them but wont come right out and say it to him. One conversation I heard was a guy saying if she brings a new relationship book to him one more time he was going to explode. He went on to say “I cook dinner more than she does, I clean the house… what the f**k more does she want from me.” She is trying to get some more emotion out and either wants him to figure it out (don’t do that girls we fail a lot on that even if we are trying) or she doesn’t know how to tell him what she is missing.
As men we have got to stand up here and lead even if its in an area we struggle in … emotions. Very few men are brave enough to dig into that part of their soul and truly become vulnerable. They feel that is seen as a weakness and we know women don’t like us to be weak. You can thank modern society for that.
So if you are wanting to do better in this area how do you even start? I have a new and crazy idea…… talk to her. Ask her what she is needing from you specifically. Ladies don’t be vague here you need to step this up to, you have a man reaching to you, now don’t make him feel like he has to drag it out of you other wise he could give up and pull away even farther.
Be honest here, listen to her heart. Guys this is where Love shines through. That Love will give you a desire to learn her, study her and always be a student of her. When we can let the selfish parts of our sinful nature go and look at her as God does. Not the emotional person that does things that drive us crazy. But rather the heart of the woman because many times her actions will contradict her heart. It is no easy job but it is one that she will appreciate more than you can possibly know. It will draw you closer together on a level you might never have seen.
Guys God calls you to step up, that doesn’t mean rule with an iron fist and get your way at all times. It means you lead with her at your side. You listen to her, you include her in all decisions, you discuss everything with her, never to leave her out. It means when she loses it emotionally you step up and take those blows she might send your way, you hold back on a heated retort. You love her through your actions and how you treat her not just in hugs kisses and words. Oh and she needs more of those also, more than you think. I just shake my head at guys sometimes. One word comes to mind… unobservant. As a whole men just don’t pay attention like women do. We tend to skate through fairly oblivious to little clues around us. Guys meet her where she needs you too, not where you are only comfortable going. That is what love is… a willingness to do things your not comfortable with, to do the little things that put a smile on her face and make her feel loved and cared for. Guys drop the attitude of… Ok I do all this what does she have to do for me??? Right ???? I get more sex right??? Focus on what your doing and DO NOT KEEP SCORE…. If she wants to keep score of the good things your doing then that’s great. In a book by Shanti Feldhan. About marriage, they studied very happily married couples and they tended to keep score of the good things their spouse did for them and they would try to one up then by giving back. Now that is the type of score keeping each marriage needs.
Guys it’s a big responsibility, bigger than you probably know. You want to be her safe place, a secure place she can show every single emotion and feeling she has. She wants to feel loved and secure. She wants to be heard and listened to in a way that says you care.
So start working to this point today. There is no better time or place to make your woman happy. Help make all her friends jealous of the relationship you have.