Thank God for good friends.

If you are more than 30 years old I’m sure your familiar with the feeling of past friends that you have lost touch with. Most for no other reason than life gets busy and we forget to call or keep the lines connected.
These last few months I have really felt a pull to not let that happen. I have reconnected with a very good friend and I think we both feel the need to not let it fall away like last time. Sometimes you just have to pull your head out of your own life and look around and see what you have been missing. Too many times in our lives we have our noses to the grind plugging through our day reaching our own goals in life and or trying anyway. We forget one of the most important things we have…. friends. There have been times in my life when its taken one close friend to ask how I’m doing not out of habit but because they can sense I’m not doing ok. Those are the friends to have and keep. Never judgmental usually not trying to fix your life or tell you how you have screwed up but a shoulder of empathy. It doesn’t mean they have to understand were you are or what your going through but just be there to hear your hurt and pain and worry.
I have made it a point to try and do better in this regard. Reaching out to friends either in text calls or even just FB messages to check in and see how people are doing. Sometimes its the reaching out that makes all the difference in the world. It shows you care and that they are important to you. That says a lot to them about what they mean to you as a friend.
In our lives that are so full of junk and busy work its just to easy to let them slip away and before you know it 10 years has gone by with no word or effort on your part. I have even done it with family and I just hate that.
I have vowed to myself to do better and keep those contacts active mostly because I do care. I know how important it can be to get that text or call from a friend thats checking on you to make sure your ok. At certain times in your life that can really mean the world.

Good friends are rare. Cherish the great ones because you will only have a few in your life time. Small blessings placed in your path to encourage and lift you up and to be a help to others.
One statement that has hung with me for a while now.
” Be that friend that you want to have.” You cant expect others to be there fro you if your never there for anyone else.
Remember true success is achieved when you help others become successful.

Don’t Give Up!!!!

I know that everyone that has gone through hard times of some sort or another. Some far worse than others. I know from my own personal experience there have been times I have just wanted to disappear and be gone. It made me understand when you hear about people that just leave kids and family and are gone and move away. The difference is these people have let the panic take over and they run on instinct and they are miles away before any conscious thought enters their head.
The thing I am seeing through all the junk I’m going through is that, no matter how much we feel down or feel depressed like there is no hope or there will never be an ending to this season. We have got to hang on to Gods truth. THAT is the thing that gets us through those hard seasons. I thank God every day that his goodness doesn’t depend on me. I mess up every day, old habits pop up or I let my anger get the best of me or I react to a situation when I shouldn’t. I’m just so thankful that God never lets go of us. He is always reaching even when we fight and struggle to find our own way.

I know my resolve to stay on course has wavered and thoughts of giving up are there in my mind. Just like many that are battling their own things. We all reach a point were we feel like giving up but we make that important choice to fight on. No matter what the obstacle is, it doesn’t matter. In this journey we call life we have to sometimes make choices that do not follow the crowd or even follow what anyone else says. No one can understand the things God has placed on your heart, thats for you to figure out, following the crowd is over rated anyway. All I can say is if your in the same boat as me and your getting tired and weary. Don’t give in. Look back to the ways God has shown truth to you, if he has you know exactly what I’m talking about. Truth is the thing that makes the struggle of it all worth it. We are fighting for something that God placed in your heart…. there is nothing in this world worth fighting for more. If you truly feel Gods placed something on your heart then fight for that don’t let the circumstances of life and the feelings the enemy throws at you discourage you into choosing the easy path or the path people tell you that you should follow. They don’t have the whole picture, they have their own journey to walk.
The odd thing is sometimes the thing we are fighting more than anything is ourselves, its an inner battle over self and giving God control, at times that is out biggest battle we fight.
So please fight for it, honor those things God has placed on your heart to accomplish. You give him the glory for giving you the strength to do whatever it is you feel he needs you to do.
I can tell you now. It can be hard, it can be gut churning, it can be heart breaking, and seem agonizingly slow and the urge to finally throw in the towel is always there. Easy is not Gods way. Easy is the way of the devil. quick satisfaction, quick fixes that seem to answer all your problems and make them all go away. Be careful of your choices when your feeling weak and emotionally worn down, Remember the song Voice of Truth. Be Gods tool to slay your giant or walk on your own piece of water. Gods truth will always bring you through, not your feelings, not your emotions, But Gods truth will never falter or fail no matter how low we seem to get or don’t think we can take anymore. He knows what we can handle and thats whats important.

When life smacks you in the face

Don’t you just love it when life hits you right in the gut. When you think you finally have this calm in the storm going well and something happens that shakes all that you know or that God has shown you? Things in life happen all the time and some times we assume things when we don’t really know anything. We seem to jump to the worst case type stuff. Well I have been here before and God has led me through it. Its one way he gets our attention on Truth and not our feelings. His truth is what matters, when he has shown you something for years, truth is the thing that keeps you going.
God places us in situations that can be the hardest thing in the world to do. I know I’m in the middle of one. When Gods made it clear to you of something but you are seeing nothing of it in the real world, it gets discouraging and makes it hard to go on. God will get you through just as he does me. The thing that makes the difference is when I’m able to separate my feelings and fears from the truth that God has shown me. Over the past several years I have many things to look at and hold on to that are things that I could not manufacture myself. Those are truth, Those are the moments God slaps you in the face with truth to get you back on track and get your head out of the what ifs and what might be’s. God’s truth is the place to be no matter what the exterior appears to be. Thats is the only thing that gets me through the rough patches or the attacks the enemy throws at you to make you doubt and act on your fears. Placing your self in Gods hands is critical to get through those times when Gods path for you seems to contradict what is happening around you. Thank The Lord that he does not let go of us when we fail.

When God feels distant.

I just read a post on FB about feeling like a failure because someone had lost the will to read their bible or pray.
I’m pretty sure every christian that is breathing has gone through these times. It seems that as a general rule christians seem to like to punished or unwilling to let go of a mistake. God says that he not only wipes your sin clean but is forgotten. We seem to forget that part of it. Forgotten…… that means after you admit the mistake, and honestly repent. Its no longer a memory for him. If thats the case why do we hang onto them for so long. I have known people that have hung onto mistakes for decades. Unwilling to just take the lesson learned and move on, it just keeps coming back to haunt them. Many times its other people that bring them up and that does make it hard to move forward when someone keeps throwing an old stupid mistake in your face. That is not the action of a true friend or even someone that truly loves you.
The thing that happens is we start to lose heart or hope. We feel like God has forgotten us or abandoned us in our time of need. Sometimes it’s like a heaviness has been placed over us and it drives our will and determination down. Sounds like an attack to me. I remember the attack on Job in the bible. How Satan attacked him and made him feel. We might not have the oozing sores and dead cattle like Job but the feeling is similar. We cry out and feel like nothing is getting through, We feel down and depressed and like there is no way out. When we shift our focus to our problems instead of our God we feel distances from him not because he has gone away it’s because we have drifted away from the closeness that he wants. It’s like when a small child in the mall gets seperated from their parents. 9 times out of 10 they got distracted and wandered to whatever it was that drew their attention. The parent never left the child left them.
Just like with God, When we shift our focus from God and the things God has place in our lives to help us. We welcome in fear, doubt, worry and second guessing about Gods truths in our lives. It starts to run our lives. We are no longer a follower of Christ but we are being led by the enemy. That hurts to say but its the truth. But don’t worry, we can always reach toward the one that controls it all. His hand is always reaching for us and he never lets go, thank goodness.
This is when our will and our determination have to come through… our sheer will power to reach out past the junk past the stuff that seems like its in the way. Reach back toward God and embrace him again.
It’s that simple. We almost have to make ourselves refocus past our problems and back where it needs to be. We have to want it bad enough to look past our problems. Its hard, I know but its well worth it in the long run.

Rough times.

I hate these days when it literally feels like I’m being attacked from some unseen enemy. I mean when I stop and think about my life. Nothing has changed at all, but I just feel this heavy weight. Its almost like when you start to break up all the things that you need to do in your life and the list starts to run and add up and it gets heavy and heavy and more and more. Before you know whats happened your overwhelmed and end up stuck in a big mess of worry and stress.
It reminds me of some things in the bible. The prophets did some amazing things, but one thing that seemed to happen to several of them was when they had just had a big spiritual victory where God really showed his power pretty plan to them. Shortly after those took place they all hit a low so low that some wanted to just go die. When we read this in scripture its really hard to believe some one could go from such a high to such a low so fast. Then I look at myself and realize , yeah I’m no better, just the beginning of this week I had one of those moments that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God reached me in the way exactly like I needed and I saw it and recognized it. Now I’m back down…. typing it out is kind of making me realize that I am no better I can fall into a selfish fearful ball of goo and worry. Times like this I wish I could turn my brain off.
When I stop the crazy train for a little bit I can see that Im just totally focused on the things that worry me or I’m fearful of. All of it isn’t good and makes me go places that I shouldn’t go. I can already see typing this stuff up how it has helped, It lets me rationalize my thoughts a little. By typing it out it makes me slow my brain down and think at a slower pace than it normally goes when free wheeling.
Never doubt what God can do in your life. Never doubt something he has shown you as truth. For me thats what its all about. Not giving up just because I can’t currently see what he has shown me. LOL that’s the exact meaning of faith anyway.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1 NLT)

God will make you promises and only you can feel it, no one else can tell you its wrong or anything.
Through all of this, one thing has happened that I will always take with me. It has brought me closer to God in such a way that I could never have done on my own. For that I am thankful. Im a firm believer in the things that God gives us to do are not the easy things in life. Many are things that we would never choose for ourselves thats for sure. But even with my short time on this journey I have been on I can say I could never do it if it wasn’t for my faith.

Now after all that typing I feel better. Im finding that slowing down every thing is a good thing. In this life we live now a days It goes by so fast, our lives are a whirl wind of activity some times. Slowing down to think at a normal pace is many times the answer and filters out those things our minds can create only inside our head. When brought out to the light of day and compared with truth, those thoughts don’t stand a chance. 🙂 that is nice to know because if we end up being a slave to our thoughts WOW no telling where we would end up.

Part 2 of Man up

Part 2

TV today has made all husbands seem like the oaf of the family, an idiot that couldn’t do a thing with out the wife there to keep him in line. As funny as that is at times, it gets old. But guys we could be doing a lot better.
This may jump around a bit just hang with me.
Part 2 is about communicating better and a few other things.
Did you know that the average woman uses more than double the words than the average man does per day? That alone means that her world revolves around communication. So we need to step up in this area.
She needs to feel like she is loved and not taken for granted. Don’t just pass over the stuff she does every day. Taking care of kids, organizing family stuff, laundry, dishes dinner…. her list goes on and on. During our business of life we some times don’t take the time to praise her for all that she does.
If you have a good woman in your life, guys please please take the time to make her feel special, however that is. (find her love language. refer to the book 5 love languages by Gary Chapman) Many women have come from several bad relationships, their hearts have been ripped and torn from guys that were jerks and had no business in any woman’s life until they can grow up and be a man. You, as the guy she chose, have a responsibility to make sure she feels loved, beautiful, desired and safe with you. She needs to know that you are her protector…. even when you disagree that you still respect and love her.
Here is one that many guys just do not get.
Looking at other woman. Guys she may tell you that it doesn’t bother her, but turn the sides around a second. How would you feel if she did the exact same thing with you right there? The old line of “Hey I can window shop as long as I come home right?” On the surface it may sound that way, but your slowly tearing down her self confidence. It magnifies every thing that she sees of herself in the mirror each day that she doesn’t like. She may even tell you that its ok mostly because she thinks it’s what you want to hear, but I’m telling you now its disrespectful to leer at other women at all especially when you’re in a relationship let alone in front of your girl, period.
I will probably get some feed back on that but Oh well, thats my feeling on it.
Back to communication. Guys she wants your undivided attention. It’s that simple, When she speaks she wants you to not only listen but to hear her heart. I think I have talked about this in the past. I call it listening with your face. Look at her, turn off the tv put down the book or magazine. Girls the thing here is if you’re wanting his attention, you will sometimes have to realize he is tuned out. We can get in a box in our minds where we really don’t think about much. We are focused on whats in front of us and really wont hear you. The solution is either get our attention before you start to talk or ask if he can talk a little later. Talking during this time and then getting mad he didn’t hear you wont get you anywhere and will just cause more problems. Take the time to learn your man also. Get to know that he is “in the zone” and probably wont be focused on your words. Just take that time to help him shift from being zoned out to needing to hear you.
Girls if your guy does this stuff for you be thankful for the guy you have. Honor him by treating him right. Not by using him and taking advantage of a guy thats trying to take care of his girl. This isn’t an open ticket to kick back and relax. Get in there, work with him, do things that he likes to do that you might not. Guys have this thing called side time. We like our girl to be with us doing things that we like or showing an interest in it. We don’t require you to talk or anything, just being there helping or just being near is time that we actually value quite a bit. So before you complain that he wont go shopping with you or go to some little out of the way boutique, think how many times have you taken a step into his world to possibly see a man that he hasn’t let you see yet?
If you hadn’t caught on yet this is a team effort, its not him against her. Its us against whats trying to break us apart. Lose together, win together Always every time.

The book foreplay starts in the kitchen, I think its called is very true. Make that effort guys, learn to cook, learn from her what it is she is needing help with. Where is she struggling in life? Thats your job guys, she should be your best friend, now act like it and be hers in return. Listen to her, learn her, be a none stop constant study of your girl cause as the years go by she will change. Never ever think you have her down pat and figured out haha cause you wont.

Thanks for the change. :)

Many that have known me for a long time have seen a change in me, I hope anyway. I have always been an easy going guy, love to laugh and crack jokes and just have a good time with friends.
But in Aug of 2012 I started working out and it has changed my life. I remember walking into CrossFit springfield on the first day and seeing a friend from High school there and he told me then if I followed through with this it would change my life, he wasn’t kidding. That was the true start of it though.
Last Aug I went to a Training For Warriors level one certification class with some friends. THAT is what truly changed me for the better. It was about fitness and coaching but it was more about life and moving forward and keeping you and others motivated to do more be more and get outside your comfort zone.
It has been an amazing transformation, that has really just started. I know I talk a lot of being positive and motivated and stuff. The truth is I struggle just like anyone else does. I have bad days, I have days my storms in life seem bigger than anything I can handle. The difference is I’m finding out that our attitudes don’t have to be a slave to our circumstances. I get up in the morning with a smile and a good attitude, I fix my breakfast and pray, every morning. I have many things I pray about and some times my food gets cold and I end up running late. To me its just too important to skip. I have other people I pray for and even though God knows whats on my heart I just feel better if its spoken out loud. This has been a huge help to keeping a positive attitude. The other thing is writing here and on FaceBook. I find that in an odd way I now have several hundred people that hold me accountable for my actions. It makes me look at my reactions and how I carry myself through out my day. Its just too easy to slip back into that negative attitude, you really have to fight it every day.
I’m working on fighting that comfort zone too. I know I mention a lot about it but to be honest I am just as guilty of letting myself slip back into that. Usually when I have let my attitude slip back, thats when I see I am more susceptible to staying where its comfortable. I just wanted everyone to know I’m right there with them and I’m a perfect example of a work in progress. I slip I fall I get mad I cuss, I do several things each day that I wish I could do better and several at the end of the day I ask forgiveness for and ask for strength to over come those short comings in myself. No one is perfect and I am far from it. I just wanted to thank every one that reads my stuff here. That in some small way you have helped me get through some hard times in my life and when I get to share them its almost a relief to some extent. We are all in a process of change, each and every one of us. Its nice to know and see others are right there with me on this ride of life. What keeps me going is that I know there are people that read my own experiences and can gain something from my ideas, thoughts or even failings. Through my failures or hardships someone else might gain from it. Thats what counts. If I can help one person here then it truly has been a success.
This is when Gods work through trials shows its self. BY using the lessons I have learned my hard times can be used in such a blessing in other peoples lives. To think that all the pain and heartache I have gone through could be turned and used to help someone else is such an amazing thing. I have been able to share my witness and my process that lead me to God.

IM so thankful for this opportunity to share my life with others in hopes of passing the blessings on to others.
Thank you so very much

WHat stops us if God calls us to something?

Have you ever really felt God calling you to something but balked because what he was asking was something that you were not comfortable with or didn’t think you were capable? One thing I have noticed is that many times Gods path for us is one that if left up to us we would never willingly take.
Many times that path is full of stuff we try to avoid. It’s full of hard things, things that scare the daylights out of us. Usually it brings our worst fears to light, do you ever wonder why? Why does it have to work this way?
I do thats for sure. Or I have in the past anyway. With all I have been through I can now see that the valleys in life are actually the perfect times to grow the most. Most of the time we are the ones standing in our own way of growth because its hard and we just don’t want to… wow sounds like something a small child would do. When we break down a lot of the natural reactions we have to adversity its just that… we are reacting as a child does… put as much distance between us and anything uncomfortable as possible. We spend so much of our time struggling with things thrown in our path that we focus on them only and not of any kind of hope…I’m here to tell you if you ever lose true hope then your in trouble. We lose hope and we start to focus solely on our problems and just how big they are. Our giant has just now become bigger than our faith in God. The more we focus on the problem the bigger they get.
It reminds me of a quote from a Jack Saparrow. ” The problem isn’t the problem, it’s your attitude about the problem that is the problem.”
If we are not careful we fall into the lows of life and wallow there for too long. It becomes an easy place to be. It sounds odd but people become comfortable there for some reason. They don’t enjoy it but its almost like it becomes part of their identity. It leads to depression and many health issues in life. We start not eating and losing weight and the depression sinks in deeper and we continue to lose hope. This is not the life a Christian is supposed to be living. As a christian we are supposed to rise above the circumstances in life and let our faith bring us out of the low places. Our faith does not take the circumstances away from us but lets us see light as we rise out of it.
The real trick here is just how in the heck do we get out of this or keep from getting into this place? One I have found is that you need good friends, most of the time its just one or 2 that are your encouragers, they can help build you up and or just be a sounding board for you. The other is action action action. At some point after you think about something long enough you have to realize that if action isn’t taken you will never get out of the place your in.
God never said to have faith and I will hand everything to you on a silver plater. He wants us working, out there reaching and doing. Not sitting and thinking about it forever and wondering why its not just dropped in our laps.
Many of todays christians are cowards at heart. They go to church and never let God past the surface of their lives. They are not living with God as a major factor in their lives. He isn’t a consideration about anything unless they re with other christians or in church. We have got to let him in more than that. they will not step outside their comfort zone because they are afraid and will claim “Well I don’t feel a peace about this so it cant be from God.” Or start throwing fleeces or asking for signs and stuff… Now God can do that but to do it for everything is just stupid. These are Christians with little faith. I want to just yell People MOVE!!! he is asking you to… so you might fail? big deal. Filter it through Gods filters of right and wrong, if its right and in your heart its for the right reasons do it for goodness sake. the bible is full of people with this exact same faith, Moses, Gideon, and most of the prophets at some point in their journey.
There are times we are just going to have to step in faith when we can’t see a darn thing in front of us. If you really feel called to do something, I mean a serious pull on your heart then do it, push that fear aside and go for it. haha I say that and then look at myself and have seen all the times I didn’t do what I felt I was called to do. But I wont let that stop me in the future. My failures in my past will not rule over my life today or in my future. Im determined to live a life blessed because of the faith I carried with me into places I was scared to death but went anyway. If we hold onto all the ways we screwed up in our past we would get no where in life EVER!!!!! We hang onto the what if I had done this or done that. People the saying hindsight is 20/20 is said for a reason. Let it go and move forward.
God will give you soft hints and subtle things to try to guide you to where he wants you but at some point he will drop a bomb off in your life that will take all of your options away and its never easy that way. I myself have been full of doubts and worry and second guessing something he had shown me, I had hung onto it for months and fretted and worried myself crazy then one day BAM!!!! I got a visit in a way that only I could claim as that. In a split second I had gone from mr doubts a lot to being shown truth like never before. It was an instantaneous change in just a few seconds. My situation never changed but my attitude totally changed… I believed and my hope was restored. From that day on my life was different. Although I have not see much change I know with out a doubt what the truth is and what he has for me to a point. He doesn’t lead us astray ever His promises are as good as done. That was 2 or more years ago and I can show you exactly the spot on the road from Berryville Arkansas to Holiday Island it happened on.

I have wanted to start a new business and have felt it for over a year now. I have balked and started and halted and restarted. You know why? Im scared of it. There are a ton of things that are out of my element and I have no idea what I’m doing. That scares the you know what out of me. Also I tend to think big. If i cant do it the way I have it in my head I don’t want to do it. Reality is different though. Reality says its small steps taken over time in a consistent way to form habits that get you to the goals you have set.
I know god has placed a few things on my heart they are fears of mine, I know I have to overcome those because when it gets right down to it I want Gods best. To know I faltered and missed my chance would be devastating. So I move, sometimes slow sometimes quick, but I have determined to move forward…… always forward.

The song Voice of Truth by Mercy Me. has played a large roll in my life, If you get a chance listen to it. Many times God wont hit us over the head with it but his truth is there none the less. Sometimes its a choice on our part to act in faith, just like other things, Love, trust…. there are times we have to choose to love when we might not feel it, or choose to trust when we have had that trust blasted out from under us. His truth is the same . He will show you but you have to choose to believe that voice of truth.

Man up guys.

I am sick and tired of this world view of love and relationships. I’m a single guy going on 43 years of age, But I have taken the time to look back in my past and see just how this same world view tainted my view of love and actually helped ruin my marriage. I wont get into specifics there but I have come to terms with the errors I have made and I can’t change the past but I sure can change the man I will be in the future.
Guys this is for you. Girls hang on you might learn something about us with this look into my head lol.
Ok the world says you need someone to fulfill you, to make you whole, to complete you. LOL if you need that you need to find God first because he is the only one that is able to truly fill you with that kind of love. There is no girl out there that can complete you if your not secure in who you are as a man and with God.
It’s time to man up and do whats right. Be kind, be considerate, be attentive to her needs. Stop looking at your own for once and look to her… there sitting in the chair across from you… see her…. does she look a little cold… go get her a blanket. Go sit next to her hold her close and warm her up. Get her a hot cup of coffee or tea. Reach out and touch her cheek turn it toward you and kiss her, be soft and gentle.
Grab the keys and say “Hey lets go”. Take her to a park for a walk. Sneak into the kitchen and make some sandwiches and snack and a few drinks.. go for a picnic. Guys you really have no idea what this does to her. It makes her feel loved and taken care of, like the man in her life sees her as something special and it builds her self esteem. Better yet do the laundry, put the dishes away, pick up the house. Oh and don’t do it and then go “SEE SEE what I did for you now where is my reward”… NO NO NO.. we need to do these things because she is an awesome person and you love her. We do these things because we know it warms her heart because she has a ton on her plate and we can take just a few of them off to ease her stress. WE are partly responsible for her emotional well being. I can not stress that enough. It may sound old fashioned but so what, its true.
You need to learn to do these things with a servants heart. We do them because our reward is the smile on the face of the most beautiful woman in the world, and to know you just eased her tension and stress level. And there is no expectation of reward at all.
I heard a sermon by Chip Ingram one time that changed my life and view about all this relationship stuff. He talked about being a Navy seal husband.
How we stand in front of her to protect to serve to honor and to help her be the best and greatest person that God has in her. We take the bullet when we must.
By that I mean if she isn’t being a loving person and doesn’t deserve our love. We give it anyway. You step up and do the right thing and love her more. By loving someone through their worst we are building them up and may not even realize it. By showing that sacrificial love to someone in that way. (as long as there is no abusive behavior)
I will tell you now, there are people that can’t accept that kind of love. I’m not sure why, but they are not affectionate and are shut down to most if not all deep emotional feelings. Others will see this as a way to Gain and suck someone dry of everything they have. These are unhealthy relationship people and I would avoid them before you ever get to the marriage stage. They have things to tackle inside themselves first before they should ever be with someone else.
When your married to one of them is the hard part. I will not get into that. Thats for the professionals to deal with. I will just say everyone has a limit and then you have got to have some self respect.

Too many guys have a slanted view of leadership also. Some have never been shown how to lead so they maybe trying but most of their examples were tv or movies. Leadership is much more than taking control of things to ” whip” them into shape. Its much deeper than that. It means making sure she feels safe in your leadership. What I mean is that she knows that you wont just go off and make a decision on your own just because your the man. Leadership is getting her involved, talking through things and coming to a conclusion. There will be times when you both are mad and not working together at all. This is when leadership should shine through. Step back some, remove yourself and your feelings about what ever it is. Honestly look and think. Ok of the two of us which one has the most experience in this area, who has the expertise here and knowledge to make a good decision. There will be times you have to trust your wife. Not that you don’t but if she has felt God pulling on her in a certain area, you as a leader need to acknowledge that and trust her discernment. This does not give either of you the right to come back at a later time and rub a failed decision in the others face. You made the decision together you failed together…. Thats one thing media and society has really done… they set us as teams men vs women. In a relationship its all one team there are no sides. Its us or no one. If we win we win together if we fail we fail together. Bringing up old failings is nothing but a sign of insecurities in someone else. Or someone is holding some bitterness back and has an ax to grind somewhere in the past.

You are together here not separate teams to win over the other.
So start working on that today, its not always easy to figure out how to lead but start by how you treat your girl, show her the love and affection she so badly desires. Treat her like the queen she is.

There will be more about this… maybe a small series I think, so keep watch and see.

An Amazing morning

Life never ceases to amaze me. There are mornings I get up and just feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Problems seem HUGE and totally unbearable. There is one over riding thing that always makes this seem true.
When I let my circumstances over ride everything else in my life, it literally steals the joy from your life. When we let life’s problems rise up in our faces like Goliath did to the Israelites, our focus changes from one on God and all the truth he has planted in our life to one of fear and the weight of a burden that can crush us to the ground and threaten to grind you into the ground with its heel.
Those are the trials in life that make us or break us. We seem to go through a process of a sorts. We get the Why me’s and feelings of injustice and undeserved treatment. When I look at the examples in the bible that God has given us. One always comes to the top. Job, he in no way deserved the treatment he received. He lived through so much stuff that was totally undeserved. He was a good God fearing man and Satan was unleashed on him. He faltered and cried out to God. Family and friends told him to curse God and tried to “reason” with him that if his God was all loving and caring he would never allow this in his life and to just curse him and give up. He never did though. He suffered and cried to God asking the same questions we do. Why me why now what did i do to be punished for this. The list goes on.
The fact of the matter is that there is a process we must go through to get to a place to heal. Here is the catch. Many people never get out of the why me phase of it. They stay a victim and it becomes comfortable for them even if they complain about it. It ends up being some sort of odd safe place. A place they can get sympathy from others which in some way makes them feel better. Don’t ask me I never have been able to understand that part. That is something for a trained professional to dig out of them. The point of this is that we need to go through that process to reach that healing place. To be able to be in the middle of a storm in our life and look up through the wind and rain and messiness of our lives, smile and say God I may not understand but I know you’re with me and I know I will come out better than I went in. We can be thankful for the trial. We may not like it, but we have experienced enough to know that good things will come from it. That is faith at its best. That is the faith that nonbelievers look at us and see us as different.
I used to work at a hospital drawing blood when I was in my early 20’s and got to experience this several times as that unbeliever. A few people with terminal cancer that, in my eyes had no hope and should be angry for this injustice thats been put on them. What surprised me was many were not. They were thankful for the life they had. They were pleasant to be around and just had an air about them that defied what you would expect. One guy told me that he had gone through all that and it didn’t do him any good that he was going to die regardless if he was mad or joyful. He said that he had finally come to terms with it and God had released him of that burden. He said that he could now spend his final days with joy and be at peace even during the pain of treatments. WOW at the time to me that was just amazing.
Whats amazing to me is how one minute we can be totally overwhelmed with anxiety, worry and stress in general. Through prayer we can really open up our hearts to God and letting him in all the way. When we are finally able to do that, the miracles start happening in your life and they start on the inside.
This morning was one of many moments for me. I woke up feeling like I had a thousand pound weight on my back. Worry, pain and stressing about the unknown had gotten a hold of me over the night. I went to God with it on my way to work. Talking to him as if he was my best friend sitting in the passenger side seat. This has happened a few times to me, but a feeling of relief hit me. The feelings of strength, power, truth and love all came through in overwhelming ways. It’s like God took the truth in his hand and smacked me on the forehead saying “here I have tried to get this through you head for weeks so I’ll give it to you in a way you can’t over look it or hide from it.” BAM!!!!
It was an instant relief and a huge reminder of the things he had done for me in the past. Memories flooded my mind of ways he has been there from the start and his guidance has been just that. No need to worry. Even when I can’t see a light or hope of the things he has been pointing me to for years. He points to them still and says Trust me. I have only experienced this 2 other times in my life and they are all huge book marked places in my life that I could never forget them and this morning he added another one to the list. I just love that.
It was a huge reminder that even when we can’t see how or where he is working that doesn’t mean that he isn’t. He is working in the background or in places and in people we can not see. TRUTH, LOVE, FAITH!!! Those are his messages that are my anchor. Not my own ability to endure, not my minds ability to reason, or think my way ahead of where I am. I’m here standing strong in him and the situation he has me in for a reason and today I got that reason again. It filled me up with ….. I’m not sure what it is but its a feeling of his presence and assuredness that he is with me. There is nothing better in life.
My life is not perfect, I am not perfect by any means, but I’m thankful for each part of it that has made me the man I am right now. I could never be who I am with out Him in my life. Showing me small things that lead and guide me.
I just hope that my writings have help others and spoken to someone out there that struggles with life also. Gods all about us getting to know him, to come with a open heart and no expectations. To love him and let him love us. Because that is how we are to love others, as Jesus did, he is our example.

The other thing this morning that hit me was the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross. This is always a fact in christianity but we refer to it as a generality. ” Jesus died for us” “Jesus paid for our sins.”
It loses so much when spoken as a generality so often. This morning I realized God wants that personal relationship with each and every one of us.
That makes it not a generality. Jesus died for me?? He gave up his son for me.
When I put it that way tears came instantly, it became much more personal to me and the magnitude of it hit me like a ton of bricks. Call me what you will, but in those moments in life and they can be few, I knew he was reaching me in a way that I would carry for the rest of my life. When God shows you truth in your life and truth about the path you are on, stick to it with the determination of a blood hound on a trail.
WOW such an amazing morning.